Never thought that going back to Malaysia for good would get me this terrified!

The length of the To-Do-List is not helping either.

The sorting, packing, shipping, cleaning and moving out of the house are the hardest part.

Have to renew my Visa for a few weeks or a month.

Then have to sort through my stuff, which one to pack and ship, which one are going to be left or given away, which one is going with me on the airplane...OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there someone I can pay to do all this for me?? Last time I have to do this kinda stuff was 4 years ago, and my mom did all of it.

And I have a lot of invitations from people all over to go to their house. Everyone is suddenly cooking a feast for me. And just now a sensei in school gave me a present and wished me luck. It was a very beautiful present!!!

Why is everyone making it harder for me to leave this place??? I already feel like crying day and night about leaving. I don't want to leave. There's too much hassle!!!

Japan is home for now. Malaysia is home too, but currently Japan feels more homely to me. I spent the early of my twenties here. I know how to do everything by myself here. I was a kid when I left Malaysia and I am an adult now, but I don't think I can be an adult in Malaysia.

Haish...my withdrawal syndrom is beginning to take a huge effect on my life right now.

I guess I just have to face it and go through with it.